Yes, I have changed. I am different than I was five, three years or a month or two days ago. I am living my life on my own terms now, whether you like it or not. I have stopped saying yes, to people who were expecting me to be available for them all the time and to the things that were not making me happy.
I used to be one of those for whom saying no was a mission impossible. That was because I didn’t want to dissapoint others and also because of the huge pressure and guilt that I would feel. As if saying no was a bad thing.
I would often go out for coffee with people even though I didn’t want to, I was surrounded by people whose company didn’t suit me, I would do things that were not important to me and neglected the things that were.
I was scared that people would get angry or judge me and that I would be seen as a bad person if I said no.
I continued saying yes until I eventually got mad at myself. I had had enough. I asked myself why I had to be understanding with everyone, when the same people didn’t have any understanding for me. I wasn’t allowed to be angry but they were.
That’s when I realised that there were people who were selfish and only think about themselves. Those are the people who enjoy having everyone play by their rules.
And I remember those magical moments when I started saying no.
No, I don’t feel like going for coffee. No, I don’t feel like going out. No, I don’t want to go with this or that person. No, I don’t want to do that. Period.
No explanations. No justifications.
And I must admit, the feeling is amazing.
Therefore it is okay to say NO, because it is not an ugly word and it definitely doesn’t make you a bad person.
Saying no means that you have your own opinion and that you respect yourself and your time.
NO is your YES to the things that you care most about.